My brother's friend Nate once got a C in swimming while he was at JMU. Nate was actually a really good swimmer but didn't always find his way to the pool at the appointed class time. On seeing his grades, Nate's dad told him about how disappointed he was that Nate didn't "show up for life". I've thought about that phrase and used it a bunch. People talk so much about how you have to buckle down when things get hard, grit your teeth and get after it. I've actually found that all you need to do is show up and do what you are supposed to be doing. It works.
Landon received really bad grades after 7th grade. Instead of popping off and throwing a tantrum like I had done before, I told him to start showing up for life. Specifically, just go to class and do what you are supposed to do. I went on to say that this is especially effective in public schools; where they are amazed and give you awards if you show up for life. I asked him to just turn in all his homework for a year. I promised I wouldn't give him crap about how neat it was, how he should double-check answers, etc. He just needed to turn things in on time that were at least approximations of what he was supposed to do. The result? He's received almost all A's and B's and is now taking mainly honors classes.
Whenever I don't feel like doing some mundane task at work or, more frequently, when I don't feel like lacing them up and running; I show up for life. It's not perfect, it's not a thing of beauty, but I'm there and I'm doing more than I feel like doing. Quite frankly, I'm doing more than most people, which I guess is why showing up for life works. There's always five others who aren't.
Who knows, maybe I'll make this in to a self-help book. I'll go on speaking tours and wow them with this incredibly simple philosophy. At minimum, everyone can be sure that I'll show up.
Ironically, I Feel The Need To Hug It Out
4 months ago
6 comments:
I love this idea of showing up for life. It is what i try to do each day - hoping that I am fully present, that I have been kind and in some small way made a difference. that I do my best, that I am engaged in my life even if it is not perfection. I made a choice, a very simple one, not long ago, to love my life and to be an animated and alive part of it instead of watching it pass me by. I love this thought of just plain showing up!!
I meant to mention, too, how lucky Landon is to have you as a role model in his life. You give him so great advice.
Nice of you to say, but I leave out 5 "step-dad screw ups" for every piece of sage advice I own up to.
1. What do you think about when you run?
2. Have you ever hit a wall while running? If so, describe.
3. What is one regret that you have?
4. If you could do anything and there was no chance you would fail, what would it be?
5. What is something or someone you miss most from your childhood?
I think Woody Allen also subscribed to this theory -- something about "90% of life is showing up." There's a lot to it. Then again, his musings had a lot more credence before he started sleeping with his daughter...
Crap. I don't know what's worse, someone thinking this up first or that someone being Woody Allen.
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