Weighty issues

Judging by the stats on Americans and obesity, I am in danger of becoming a minority. To make it plain, I feel like I'm a minority because during certain parts of the year, I become the rarest of creatures; a skinny heterosexual male who is trying to lose weight.

I do so not because of some eating disorder, self-esteem issue, or latent manorexia. I get that way because simple physics and 15years of running road races tells me that extra pounds slow me down. I know, revolutionary right? So, I have developed the following weight scale that gives me an approximate idea of where I am in terms of running performance.

180 lbs and higher: Training hurts, climbing stairs hurts, life hurts. Even on days when I think I'm going fast, I look down at the watch at the end of a run and am dismayed by how slow me and my jiggles just turned that six miler.

175lbs: Just light enough to fool myself in to thinking I am in "shape". Enough pounds shaved off that I can have the odd good day and like what I see on the watch. Heavy enough that I still don't like running very much and am not very good at it.

170lbs: The threshold to real running. Around here races can happen. None of these races will be PR's, but neither will they be embarrassing ordeals complete with a death crawl at the end. I can even do some decent track workouts at 170.

165lbs: OK, I am really running again. Some PR's have come at this weight. I am getting a tad skeletal, but I am generally and unequivocally in shape.

160lbs: I look like a skeleton with a condom pulled over it (to borrow an expression from Mark Wetmore), but am fast (for a 42 year old dude without any natural speed). This is also a lot of fun, because some sort of critical synergy of mileage and enjoyment occurs to where I can just about eat anything I want at anytime. I couldn't bench press Dawn's 10lb dog, but as far as running goes...it's on.

This is by no means a scale meant to assess health or attractiveness. It's a purely running thing. However, like most minorities, I get comments and accusations. First, and foremost, my wife puts up with anything under 180 and abhors anything under 170. Second, friends, including chubby friends, comment that I'm "too thin" or "unhealthy" looking. This really intrigues me. Anyone feel a personal freedom to tell them they are "too fat" or "unhealthy" looking? No, but let's hold an intervention for the skinny guy. I kid, no interventions have happened yet.

These comments are also met with the vague concerned look that I can only assume is related to a concern about an eating disorder. Again, to clarify, I eat more calories than just about anyone I know. I'm focused on weight entirely because of running performance. When running performance isn't an issue, I think about what I eat about as much as your average trucker.

As of this writing, I don't have definite racing goals in the forseeable future. Thus, I will probably be helping myself to several upcoming Holiday treats. I guess in the minds of several, this will make me more "healthy"?

What kind of prison?

So, I'm always talking about how cool it is to have a teenager. How you can relate to them, do fun stuff, avoid watching the same inane program 50 times in a row. Stuff like that.

Well, at some point the teenager bill comes due. Teenagers are fun, but the stakes are just a wee bit high. Your little one messes up and they skin a knee. Your teenager messes up and you are a grandfather or getting them out of prison.

.....speaking of prison, Landon has a girlfriend. When I heard this, I calmly asked Dawn and Landon about her. They said it was one of the football managers and told me which one. "Cool" I said, as all my dealings with this young lady have been positive and she seems very nice. Dawn then switched to a tone that she often uses when she wants to tell me we're overdrawn or that we need a new car.

"Yes, she is very nice, but there are a few issues at home. She's being raised by her mom because her dad's in prison".

"Oh"

I honestly didn't know where to take it beyond "oh". I mean, I shouldn't think worse of this kid because her dad screwed up. Furthermore, I don't know whether this is tax evasion or whether this guy cut someone up and set the parts on fire. However, when it's your kid, every stereotype and worry you can have comes out and comes out quick. While leaving the "oh" hanging in the air, the real me is thinking:

"She's gonna get pregnant because she's looking for male attention"

"This low-life prison dude is going to try to suck off of Landon's athletic future"

"I'm going to turn around and this guy is going to have Landon jumped in to his gang"

(as an aside, why are there gangs in Harrisonburg VA????????)

Not that I'm proud of any of this inner dialogue, that's just what rolls through your mind when it's YOUR kid. Not very progressive, but this is my kid; not a court of law or human resources.

Dawn made my night complete when she said I should have a talk with him. About what? He hasn't done anything. Actually nobody's done anything except apparently this girl's dad. Should the talk go something like "Landon, avoid any gang this guy is in while keeping this girl from roping you in to getting her pregnant. Also check for signs of crack....you know how it is. Oh, since we're in a rural setting, check for meth as well; can't be too careful. Anyway, I love you and trust you, no matter how many progeny of incarcerated felons you date. Need anything to drink?"

Well, maybe I can join the rival gang......just in case I need backup.

Hurry up and wait.......

What a great morning. I just had an incredible weekend seeing my college friends for Homecoming. One running highlight is that I did an 11-miler w/ Riz and Beth. I'll also interject that Beth is going for her first marathon and has some talent based on her strength during said run. I'm predicting a burgeoning runner for Mrs. Risdon.

Anyway, it was fabulous to see everyone and I didn't stop laughing the whole time.

I also made a final decision to do shorter races this spring instead of Boston. I knew I made a good choice as I did an hour and 18 minutes this morning instead of my short shake out run. The thought of busting some fast times this spring really got me motivated.

Five hours later, I find myself with chills and aches and pains. These symptoms exactly describe the malady that has plagued my wife for the past two weeks. So much for today being the first day of a new training cycle. Such moments in a training program teach us that training plans and schedules are what we make before God tells us what actually happens.

In the immortal words of Dan Patrick. I'm day to day........we're all day-to-day.